Just something that struck me.

While attempting to study administrative law, a thought struck me. A really random one (like most of those thoughts which strike you when you study, more of an attempt to distract yourself really.) about this conversation that I had with an old friend today.

She was telling me about how her mother thinks she blogs for "attention". While I laughed it off back then, it made me wonder about the truth of that statement. I have seen so many posts on 9 gag about the quintessential "attention horse" which brings me to the conclusion that doing ANYTHING for attention is a bad thing. An awful thing in fact, something to be scorned even.

Don't we all secretly thrive on attention though? I know I love to see a new comment on my post. It makes me very very happy. It's only human to enjoy a little attention.

So for all you fellow attention "horse" (I know it's grammatically incorrect ......but artistic licence my friend!) out there.........

If you neigh when someone comments on your post

And trot when they like your picture

Canter when they comment on it 

Even if it's just a lecher

It's okay, don't be shy

Don't let their judgement affect you

If they don't get it, it's their loss

You're lucky to be

An attention horse.

And that's what you call shitty poetry. :)

Had to post it.

Ha ha! Just never gets old. :)

Sunday!!!!

Just woke up. I feel so good.

Happy April fools.

And yeah, I was forced to join twitter. I don't like it so much somehow.

How much other people's opinions can effect us!

I have learnt today that rumours can spread extremely quickly! And by the time it reaches the source, it's as far from the truth as it can get. 

It got me thinking about the effect that other people's words and thoughts about us can matter. I am as unaffected by people's opinions of me as anyone can be nevertheless, I do have skeletons in my closet. And I do hide a lot of things from everyone but my closest friends.

A random person telling you that someone thinks you did something that you did not do but then everyone is talking about it and you feel like you are beginning to believe it yourself and suddenly you get paranoid as you feel that the world is against you and oh no you send someone hate mail and........

Yeah! I have gone through that feeling a million times so I am not the best person to be pointing fingers.

And so have you, stop laughing  at me. Especially if you are a woman who is reading this.

People's opinions don't really change with the truth. People's opinions change when they get to know you. And it isn't possible to know everyone.

From the time that you realize that you have only a few real friends, to the time that you understand that it's not possible to please everyone, to the moment you stop caring about others opinions and the moment you decide to stop making everything an issue, its all a big process and it helps you mature in many different ways. 

That's why I love my college. It has taught me the power of rumour mongering. I am pretty sure that if some of the people I have come across in the past three years were sent abroad, they could bring down governments. Like the Roman Agent in Asterix. (If you haven't read asterix, you never had a childhood.) A simple comment I made in our canteen to a bunch of extremely harmless girls with absolutely NO malicious intentions has turned into a vicio Gmail battle.

I have given 5 exams in the past 4 days, two of which were within the span of eight hours today morning.

I say this at the risk of being mocked and ridiculed, but I finally understand the emotion behind Rebecca Black's "Friday". Only, to me it is Sunday. (I was dancing to it today, SUE ME!)

I'm leaving to get those eight hours of sleep that I have so been dreaming of for the past couple of days. (Isn't it strange how you end up not feeling sleepy when you have absolutely NOTHING to do?)

Will sign out now.

P.S: I have noticed that ever since my sleepless nights started I have been getting mopey on blogger. Shall sign back in only when I am well rested from now on.

Exams make people funnier.

What is it about exams that brings out the funny side in all of us? We've been sitting around since 10, and its 3 am now, the four of us, 3 studying German and as for me, well, I am randomly studying whatever I feel like, basically whatever I feel will prevent me from falling asleep now. I've heard everyone in the room saying something hilarious. Or maybe it just seems funny to me in my sleep deprived state.

We are all one shot of coffee down.

Goodness knows how many more to come.

Something tells me its going to be a really long week.

Making that call.

I have noticed that the older we grow, the more we begin to ridicule the idea of death. That is until it happens to you. Or someone you know. Or someone close to someone you know. Then it becomes a reality, a scary one at that.

I just found out that my friends father passed away. It came as a real shock to me because I had only recently got in touch with him after finding out that after being classmates 14 years back in primary school, he is now my neighbour. We decided to establish a weekly ritual of meeting every Thursday and kept to it two weeks in a row. Till about three weeks back when he started canceling our meetings because his dad was ill. He made it sound so casual, almost like a minor fever, I did not at all suspect it to be something life threatening and I respect him for his courage throughout that time. I would've been a crying wreck in the same situation.

I found out about what happened through a mutual friend and it shocked me because I hadn't spoken to him in over a week due to exams and it left me feeling helpless. I wanted to call but then I couldn't really bring myself to as I had no clue what to say or how I should comfort him.It got me thinking about how helpless we ALL are in the face of each others misery. The confusion you feel as to what you should do and how you should re act is something that I was going through for the first time and it killed me from the inside.

I woke up today morning to a text from him informing me of the same. After I was done with college I tried calling him but he did not respond.He did, however reply with a text. I shall wait for him to call me when he is ready to talk.

His strength in the situation amazes me and has taught me a lot.

And although I cannot tell him how I feel or do anything to comfort him (As my words cannot do anything really to fill up such a large void in his life.) I hope he knows that I am with him as a friend whenever he needs someone to turn to.

We are so much stronger than we ourselves realize.

Of long forgotten friendships.

I just spent the day hanging out with a person for what is the first and in all probability  the last time. The person in question used to be my batchmate in college where I studied arts for a year before joining law school. We never really exchanged more than a few words back then and only had one class (english) together. Coincidentally, he left college at the same time that I did only to come to the same city (pune) and join the defence academy. We have both been in Pune for the past three years and apart from a phone call in the first year I had no clue about how he was or what he was up to. Until two days back when he messaged me and we planned to meet up.

Strangely, the meeting that I expected to be extremely awkward and weird turned out to be quite a fun experience. His stories about training to join the army were amusing to me as his life is as far as it can get from what mine is now. They aren't allowed to keep phones or laptops. They do not have facebook. And they aren't allowed outside except for certain Sundays, and even the areas they are allowed to go to are restricted!!! To add to this, they wake up at three and sleep at ten. Their punishments involve running around at 3 in the noon with 18 kg s of weight strapped to their back with a rifle! 

And I complain about having to study for exams......

The three of us (surabhi my flatmate was with us as well) chilled for the whole day and we had to leave by 5 as he had to keep to his curfew of 8 pm. I was surprised to find that it actually made me feel a little sad. It struck me then how easy it is to miss out on things because we are too caught up in our lives and so happy with the familiarity of things around us to even think about anything beyond what we already have. I am glad that he made the effort to make a plan to meet. Had he left it to me, I would have never bothered to get to know a person who I should have ideally been good friends with by now.

The chances of us ever chilling together again are scarce, because he will soon be done and posted at deheradun and we have exams till then. Also, as I have mentioned before, we are still practically strangers and so there is no real compulsion to meet.

I am however glad that I have the memory of a fun day spent and a new friend made. I also hope he does well and stays safe wherever he goes.

Life is strange and unpredictable.

And I love it.